I must admit, I AM like the majority of single women who dream of marrying “the one.” Dreaming of that one day, walking down the aisle, holding hands with the one I love. I often get lost in these fantasies that are fueled from television shows, romantic movies, and love stories. I realize that these media often exaggerate the bubbly, sweet, bright perspective of the relationship. I was a naïve woman, well, I still am in some aspects, but after being apart from my ex, I wonder about the things could have gone right, and wrong. I think that the best part in any relationship is the thrill, the excitement, the part when you are falling madly in love with that person. How can I get that same feeling, now that I’m single?
Being single again, sucks. It’s that uncomfortable feeling being around couples, being self-conscious at the “single” cardboard sign hanging around your neck or a sticker on your forehead that says, “I’m single.” It’s that dreadful feeling when you have to keep yourself busy because your friends are all busy with their lives. It’s the constant battle between my thoughts and me, and it’s me fighting that feeling of loneliness when I’m all alone. I’m still trying my best to adapt to being single, I have been single most of my life, so why is it so hard now? Truth is, once you find something better in your life, and loose it, you will miss it. Imagine what it’s like to live without iPhones, cars, and other great things in your life. See? You would miss it too.
The next best thing that you could only do is to move on and hope for the best. Moving on can feel extremely awesome like a great wave of fresh air, or it can feel like crap. It is like someone push you into a dark room, or down a cliff that you don’t want to go, and you can only feel self-pity and melancholy. I can say I have experienced both sides of the coin, and I’d rather be happy and looking forward to positive things than feeling depressed, and more depressed. The only way to move on, is to accept my current state
—> being single<—
and find some way to embrace it.
Since the day I am single, I have tried doing many things that I haven’t done before. I tried rock climbing, I learned how to swim, ski, use a gun and rifle, yoga, and more. Within these six months, I have done so much more adventurous things I have never done in my entire life. I have made my life so busy and fulfilling that I’m just happy being single. Why does it have to be that breakup event, that lead me to this point in my life? Looking back, I’m grateful that it happened, else it wouldn’t have pushed me to do so many fun and exciting things. Of course, I could have done these things before, but I guess I needed a push, and I got one.
One, no, two of the things my wise dad says to me about this topic is, “Every pot has its lid.” He says, just like how every pot has a lid that fits it, you will one day find your “lid.” True, but, how long will it be? Why don’t they just invent little “timers” that we can attach to our wrists that will tell us how long until we meet “the one?” from Timer, a 2009 film by Jac Schaeffer. I guess the exciting and tedious part is just waiting for the surprise, waiting for that person to pop up any time between now and ….until the day we die. From looking around, we can see that some may never get the chance to meet that someone, and some may already meet that someone but doesn’t know it. There are some that become couples, and things just didn’t work out. Afterall, the ideal persons we all want to be with, are REAL beings, not some fantasies we made up. Perhaps “the one” may match our personalities or not. What are we to do but to continue our search and take small detours along the way?
The second thing he says is, “If you want to meet someone who likes what you like to do, and share your interests, go to places where you want to go. Perhaps one day, that one guy who is doing exactly what you like, will want to get to know you.” It’s true. The places where you want to hang out describes a bit about who you are. It gives others an idea of what type of person you are. If a guy meets me at the bar, he would think I’m here like everyone else, just having short conversations, looking for sex, whatever. Being at the bar doesn’t really shine a good light on me, besides, bars have little light anyway. You could barely tell what the guy sitting next to you looks like!! 😛 If a guy meets you at a volunteer event, it says a lot of different things about you. Perhaps you want to help the community, or enjoy helping others. Now, don’t you all run to volunteer just to pick up a guy, he’s going to know you are faking it. Just do what YOU want to do. People who have similar ideas will do similar things. For example, guys who love to work out and do sports will spend most of their time at the gyms, so go to the gym if you are into those sorts of guys. If you like guys who loves comics? Go find them at the comic, errrh, Anime Conventions. 🙂 (No offense, I like anime and manga, too.)
To sum things up, we singles, are not alone, everyone else is also looking for that someone. Perhaps during our life journeys, we discover more about who we are, or what we like along the way. Don’t give up and just keep LIVING, do the things that make you feel good. If you happen to find that someone? Good for you! If not, you already found a BUNCH of things that make you happy. 🙂 Good luck!!