Forgotten passions

Forgotten passions

Lately, my life has been busy but wonderful, nonetheless.  I have many, many exciting moments of joy, laughter, love, and awkwardness.  My career has been going well; my persistence and efforts paid off.  I got the opportunities to obtain more time sensitive tasks and attention from my upper management.  It’s amazing to know that I’m no longer a forgotten, working gear that’s creaking quietly in a corner.  Now, I’m being dusted off and shined!  Maybe I’m doing something right, I should definitely continue to put out 110% effort in my career.  Some nights, I’m tired, but still overwhelmed with happiness.

For the past month or so, I spent some quality time my little sister, who was home for the winter break.  We talked about money, school, friends, and boys.  I’m kinda sad to see that my sister is no longer a little 7 year-old girl who readily believed in my fantastic ventriloquism.  I have to admit, I was a superb ventriloquist.  I made her childhood a living nightmare that was filled with tears and nonsensical conflicts caused by her favorite bossy and annoying stuffed Labrador Retriever, Fifi.  Of course, now she tortures me with her endless teasing and puppy faces that I can’t resist.  Many times I caved in to her invitations to eat out, going to spa, and shopping, it’s breaking my bank!  (Gosh, I need to figure out how to resist this…cute devil!)

When Christmas passed, “he” came, nah let’s say stumbled…rolled…uhm ok, walked into my life.  There were definitely LOTS of awkward moments.  It was full of silly jokes, laughters, and of course, countless mini heart palpitations.  We went on an explosive number of date nights consisting of ice skating, movies, drinks, and eating out.   While I was trying to juggle work life, family life, and personal life, “he” made everything around me feel so effortless and worthwhile.  I’m very grateful that someone as wonderful as him exists.  “He” is the best fitting lid to my pan so far! 😀

Today, my cousin, who I considered as my older brother, spent some time with me to catch up on things since we haven’t seen each other in a month.  He is awesome.  My cousin is always supportive and he never fails to give me his male perspectives on life.  I really enjoy being with him because he tolerates (hehe) my quirky comments and spontaneous spurs to do things that are definitely out of his comfort zone (i.e. going to shooting range.)

Usually when I write, I want to share meaningful advices or things that brighten everyone’s days.  However, on this post, I want to be selfish and talk about my passions for my career, and loved ones.  I called this title “Forgotten Passions,” not because I forgot.  I want to remind everyone that when you start to forget your passion, you forget how amazing it makes you feel.  Just remember that those moments you share with the people around you or you doing something you enjoy, you can never get them back.  So, if you are passionate about something, cherish them, or if you are like me, share them to the world!

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“Why frown when you can SMILE?”

Here’s loads of quotes that will convince you why you should smile!

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness ” ― William Arthur Ward

“It takes a lot of energy to be negative. You have to work at it. But smiling is painless. I’d rather spend my energy smiling” ― Eric Davis (former MLB star and cancer survivor)

Smile, it’s the key that fits the lock on everyone’s hearts.

“When I look out at the people and they look at me and they’re smiling, then I know that I’m loved. That is the time when I have no worries, no problems.” ― Etta James

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ― Abraham Lincoln

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” ― Mother Teresa

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ― Dalai Lama

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection.” ― Leonardo da Vinci

“I was smiling yesterday, I am smiling today and I will smile tomorrow. Simply because life is too short to cry for anything.”
― Santosh Kalwar, Quote Me Everyday

“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”
― Greta Garbo

“You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.”
― Charles Chaplin

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

Smile photo link: http://finkorswim.com/2012/01/06/smile-a-guest-post/

Perfectly Imperfect.

Do you ever get bothered by the tiny details that seem to ruin everything?  

Are you afraid to let others take on a part of your tasks because you fear they can’t do it as well as you can?

Do you tend to push yourself to meet your high standards?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, you, my friend, are a perfectionist.  My definition of a perfectionist, is the obsession that one has to achieve acceptance from oneself and everyone else.  Perhaps the easiest part in my opinion is achieving acceptance from oneself.  When you meet your expectations you tend to get excited and proud, but that fleeting joy only lasts for a few seconds before you create yourself another higher, more difficult goal to strive toward.  The cycle never ends since the ultimate goal keeps getting further and further away.  Suddenly getting an 85% on an exam isn’t good enough, and a 93% isn’t even close to 100%.  And perhaps getting 100% means yay, now I can go find another challenge to crush.  Some times it feels stressful and discouraging because you never stop wondering when you can reach that goal, so that you can finally sit back and be the happiest person in the world.  Unfortunately, the road to happiness seems to always have walls rising up every time you take a step toward it.  These walls are the ones YOU yourself put up, to make you feel that happiness needs to be earned through hard-work.

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In addition to the stresses you already faced internally, you have to meet the expectations of everyone around you.  You must be smarter than Tim, or prettier than Jane, or funnier than Missy.  When you meet someone better than you, you feel like you no longer have worth.  You suddenly make up horrible stories about that seemingly, perfect person to make them seem more…human, or imperfect?

Why do we strive for perfection but when we see perfection, we become so resentful toward it?

For those people that you (in your mind) have defeated, they are worthless, their opinions don’t matter, and the things they do aren’t as …perfect as you.  Your team’s project doesn’t work?  No problem, you rewrite project paper since you definitely can’t have everyone else preventing you from getting that 100%.

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At the end of day, it’s not the papers that you rewrite, or the exam grades that earn you the recognition or the happiness you desperately wish to achieve.  It is definitely NOT it at all.  It’s knowing when to let your team mates contribute their parts in the project and accept that this is a team effort and accept that it is ok to TRUST them.  It is knowing when tell yourself, good job, you have done 80%, now let’s move on to another goal.

More importantly, it’s the self awareness of when to tell yourself that it is ok to be “good enough.”  To say, I accept being the IMperfect me and I love myself for it.  Our idea of happiness comes once we meet our goals is distorted.  Really, we can achieve happiness whenever we let ourselves be happy.  When you let go and accept that your hard work is good enough, you release the burden that you carry on your shoulders.   Suddenly, things become more optimistic, and you don’t feel like you owe yourself or the world anything.  When you accept that certain things are out of your control, and that the efforts you put in are worth the trouble (and not burning yourself out), then yeah, I guarantee that you will be a much ,much, happier person.

Here’s my top 5 tips to be a perfectly, happy IMperfectionist.

1. Do 80% of the first goal and finish the remaining 20% when you finish the other goals. (You’d accomplish more and not burn out)

2. Always reflect and acknowledge the hard work you have done and reward yourself for your efforts. (This will motivate you and also give you some time to relax and thus, will make you happier.)

3. In a team, have some confidence and trust in your team mates. (You’d be surprise how your team can take you far together, if you let them.)

4. Don’t just focus on the things that you are great at, try out new things that you haven’t done before.  (This will broaden your experiences and lower your expectations of yourself – just a little bit.)

5. Forgive yourself when you don’t meet a goal.  (Self-forgiveness is very hard at first, but it gets easier later.  I find that I feel less burdened by the guilt that I can’t meet a goal.  When I forgive myself, I give myself another chance to try again.)

–This post is not perfect but I did try my best.  🙂

And that, I leave you with the quote below.  Have a wonderful, perfect day!  😛

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What do pots and lids have to do with being single?

I must admit, I AM like the majority of single women who dream of marrying “the one.”   Dreaming of that one day, walking down the aisle, holding hands with the one I love.  I often get lost in these fantasies that are fueled from television shows, romantic movies, and love stories.  I realize that these media often exaggerate the bubbly, sweet, bright perspective of the relationship.  I was a naïve woman, well, I still am in some aspects, but after being apart from my ex, I wonder about the things could have gone right, and wrong.  I think that the best part in any relationship is the thrill, the excitement, the part when you are falling madly in love with that person.   How can I get that same feeling, now that I’m single?

Being single again, sucks.  It’s that uncomfortable feeling being around couples, being self-conscious at the “single” cardboard sign hanging around your neck or a sticker on your forehead that says, “I’m single.”  It’s that dreadful feeling when you have to keep yourself busy because your friends are all busy with their lives.  It’s the constant battle between my thoughts and me, and it’s me fighting that feeling of loneliness when I’m all alone.  I’m still trying my best to adapt to being single, I have been single most of my life, so why is it so hard now?   Truth is, once you find something better in your life, and loose it, you will miss it.  Imagine what it’s like to live without iPhones, cars, and other great things in your life.  See? You would miss it too.

The next best thing that you could only do is to move on and hope for the best.  Moving on can feel extremely awesome like a great wave of fresh air, or it can feel like crap.  It is like someone push you into a dark room, or down a cliff that you don’t want to go, and you can only feel self-pity and melancholy.  I can say I have experienced both sides of the coin, and I’d rather be happy and looking forward to positive things than feeling depressed, and more depressed.   The only way to move on, is to accept my current state

—> being single<—

and find some way to embrace it.

Since the day I am single, I have tried doing many things that I haven’t done before.  I tried rock climbing, I learned how to swim, ski, use a gun and rifle, yoga, and more.  Within these six months, I have done so much more adventurous things I have never done in my entire life.  I have made my life so busy and fulfilling that I’m just happy being single.  Why does it have to be that breakup event, that lead me to this point in my life?  Looking back, I’m grateful that it happened, else it wouldn’t have pushed me to do so many fun and exciting things.  Of course, I could have done these things before, but I guess I needed a push, and I got one.

One, no, two of the things my wise dad says to me about this topic is, “Every pot has its lid.”  He says, just like how every pot has a lid that fits it, you will one day find your “lid.”  True, but, how long will it be?  Why don’t they just invent little “timers” that we can attach to our wrists that will tell us how long until we meet “the one?”  from Timer, a 2009 film by Jac Schaeffer.  I guess the exciting and tedious part is just waiting for the surprise, waiting for that person to pop up any time between now and ….until the day we die.  From looking around, we can see that some may never get the chance to meet that someone, and some may already meet that someone but doesn’t know it.  There are some that become couples, and things just didn’t work out.  Afterall, the ideal persons we all want to be with, are REAL beings, not some fantasies we made up.  Perhaps “the one” may match our personalities or not.  What are we to do but to continue our search and take small detours along the way?

The second thing he says is, “If you want to meet someone who likes what you like to do, and share your interests, go to places where you want to go.  Perhaps one day, that one guy who is doing exactly what you like, will want to get to know you.”  It’s true.  The places where you want to hang out describes a bit about who you are.   It gives others an idea of what type of person you are.  If a guy meets me at the bar, he would think I’m here like everyone else, just having short conversations, looking for sex, whatever.  Being at the bar doesn’t really shine a good light on me, besides, bars have little light anyway.  You could barely tell what the guy sitting next to you looks like!!  😛   If a guy meets you at a volunteer event, it says a lot of different things about you.  Perhaps you want to help the community, or enjoy helping others.  Now, don’t you all run to volunteer just to pick up a guy, he’s going to know you are faking it.  Just do what YOU want to do.  People who have similar ideas will do similar things.  For example, guys who love to work out and do sports will spend most of their time at the gyms, so go to the gym if you are into those sorts of guys.  If you like guys who loves comics?  Go find them at the comic, errrh, Anime Conventions.  🙂  (No offense, I like anime and manga, too.)

To sum things up, we singles, are not alone, everyone else is also looking for that someone.  Perhaps during our life journeys, we discover more about who we are, or what we like along the way.  Don’t give up and just keep LIVING, do the things that make you feel good.  If you happen to find that someone?  Good for you!  If not, you already found a BUNCH of things that make you happy.  🙂  Good luck!!

“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.” – Alice Walker

We all have times when we are not always happy and cheery and it’s alright.  You can only appreciate the happiness when you experience the down side of things.  However, don’t dwell too long on them, and just pick yourself up and go on your merry way!

Here are the top 10 things that you can do to pick yourself up, and feel happy again.  Why wait for your boyfriend, your friend, or anyone else to make you happy?  Go out there, and make yourself happy!!

TOP 10 “HAPPY” bugs

1. Find what you like to do the most (whether its cooking, swimming, running, singing), and do it.  GO out of your way to do it!

2. Smile.  Even when things get tough, just smile.  When you smile, you “trick” your brain into thinking that you are in a good mood, and you, in turn, feel good.  Don’t believe me?  Try it!

3. Take a break from what stresses you out, and take a walk.  By doing so, you can give your mind a break and keep yourself from thinking about negative things.  Instead, look around you, relax, take in deep breaths, and just think positive events that happened in your life.  The more you think about the positive things in life, the more you become a half-full person.

4. Listen to music you like.  When you listen to the music that makes you feel good, you feel good.

5. Volunteer, or help someone out.  When you help someone or do something nice to another person, you feel happy as well.  It gives you the satisfaction that you had made someone’s day and in turn, you make yourself happy too!

6. Get enough sleep.  I didn’t realized this sooner, but when you have enough rest, you don’t feel tired and cranky, you feel simply happy.  The sun shines a little bit brighter, the coffee tastes a little better, and the drive to work is a little shorter.  Plus, you will be healthier with enough rest because your body has enough time to repair damaged tissues, and recharge you for a new day.

7. Hang out with people that are positive as well.  We humans tend to have empathy toward each other, so when we see a person being happy and positive, we feed off that energy and be happy as well.  (And the same works in the other direction as well.)

8.  Surround yourself with the things you like.  If your work office has boring office supplies and a boring monitor, why not decorate it with pictures and other little reminders that bring a smile to your face?

9. Resist the urge to say negative things.  When you convert your negative thoughts to positive thoughts, you are proactively replacing your clouded glasses with a fresh pair of glasses, a new perspective.  Soon, you will believe that you are positive, and these positive thoughts change your opinion about anything that seems terrible before.  Maybe that 24 hour flight to grandma’s house isn’t so bad, or a rainy day is perfect to stay at home and drink some hot chocolate or tea.

10. Rinse and repeat.  When you do these few things, not only will you make yourself happy, you will infect other people that surrounds you with the “happy” bug too.  😀  And why share the unhappy feelings, when you can be happy?    Being happy will make you less stressed and you’ll live longer.  Now that’s something to be happy about! 😉

This song certainly makes me happy.  What makes YOU happy?