I must admit, I AM like the majority of single women who dream of marrying “the one.” Dreaming of that one day, walking down the aisle, holding hands with the one I love. I often get lost in these fantasies that are fueled from television shows, romantic movies, and love stories. I realize that these media often exaggerate the bubbly, sweet, bright perspective of the relationship. I was a naïve woman, well, I still am in some aspects, but after being apart from my ex, I wonder about the things could have gone right, and wrong. I think that the best part in any relationship is the thrill, the excitement, the part when you are falling madly in love with that person. How can I get that same feeling, now that I’m single?
Being single again, sucks. It’s that uncomfortable feeling being around couples, being self-conscious at the “single” cardboard sign hanging around your neck or a sticker on your forehead that says, “I’m single.” It’s that dreadful feeling when you have to keep yourself busy because your friends are all busy with their lives. It’s the constant battle between my thoughts and me, and it’s me fighting that feeling of loneliness when I’m all alone. I’m still trying my best to adapt to being single, I have been single most of my life, so why is it so hard now? Truth is, once you find something better in your life, and loose it, you will miss it. Imagine what it’s like to live without iPhones, cars, and other great things in your life. See? You would miss it too.
The next best thing that you could only do is to move on and hope for the best. Moving on can feel extremely awesome like a great wave of fresh air, or it can feel like crap. It is like someone push you into a dark room, or down a cliff that you don’t want to go, and you can only feel self-pity and melancholy. I can say I have experienced both sides of the coin, and I’d rather be happy and looking forward to positive things than feeling depressed, and more depressed. The only way to move on, is to accept my current state
—> being single<—
and find some way to embrace it.
Since the day I am single, I have tried doing many things that I haven’t done before. I tried rock climbing, I learned how to swim, ski, use a gun and rifle, yoga, and more. Within these six months, I have done so much more adventurous things I have never done in my entire life. I have made my life so busy and fulfilling that I’m just happy being single. Why does it have to be that breakup event, that lead me to this point in my life? Looking back, I’m grateful that it happened, else it wouldn’t have pushed me to do so many fun and exciting things. Of course, I could have done these things before, but I guess I needed a push, and I got one.
One, no, two of the things my wise dad says to me about this topic is, “Every pot has its lid.” He says, just like how every pot has a lid that fits it, you will one day find your “lid.” True, but, how long will it be? Why don’t they just invent little “timers” that we can attach to our wrists that will tell us how long until we meet “the one?” from Timer, a 2009 film by Jac Schaeffer. I guess the exciting and tedious part is just waiting for the surprise, waiting for that person to pop up any time between now and ….until the day we die. From looking around, we can see that some may never get the chance to meet that someone, and some may already meet that someone but doesn’t know it. There are some that become couples, and things just didn’t work out. Afterall, the ideal persons we all want to be with, are REAL beings, not some fantasies we made up. Perhaps “the one” may match our personalities or not. What are we to do but to continue our search and take small detours along the way?
The second thing he says is, “If you want to meet someone who likes what you like to do, and share your interests, go to places where you want to go. Perhaps one day, that one guy who is doing exactly what you like, will want to get to know you.” It’s true. The places where you want to hang out describes a bit about who you are. It gives others an idea of what type of person you are. If a guy meets me at the bar, he would think I’m here like everyone else, just having short conversations, looking for sex, whatever. Being at the bar doesn’t really shine a good light on me, besides, bars have little light anyway. You could barely tell what the guy sitting next to you looks like!! 😛 If a guy meets you at a volunteer event, it says a lot of different things about you. Perhaps you want to help the community, or enjoy helping others. Now, don’t you all run to volunteer just to pick up a guy, he’s going to know you are faking it. Just do what YOU want to do. People who have similar ideas will do similar things. For example, guys who love to work out and do sports will spend most of their time at the gyms, so go to the gym if you are into those sorts of guys. If you like guys who loves comics? Go find them at the comic, errrh, Anime Conventions. 🙂 (No offense, I like anime and manga, too.)
To sum things up, we singles, are not alone, everyone else is also looking for that someone. Perhaps during our life journeys, we discover more about who we are, or what we like along the way. Don’t give up and just keep LIVING, do the things that make you feel good. If you happen to find that someone? Good for you! If not, you already found a BUNCH of things that make you happy. 🙂 Good luck!!
We all have times when we are not always happy and cheery and it’s alright. You can only appreciate the happiness when you experience the down side of things. However, don’t dwell too long on them, and just pick yourself up and go on your merry way!
Here are the top 10 things that you can do to pick yourself up, and feel happy again. Why wait for your boyfriend, your friend, or anyone else to make you happy? Go out there, and make yourself happy!!
TOP 10 “HAPPY” bugs
1. Find what you like to do the most (whether its cooking, swimming, running, singing), and do it. GO out of your way to do it!
2. Smile. Even when things get tough, just smile. When you smile, you “trick” your brain into thinking that you are in a good mood, and you, in turn, feel good. Don’t believe me? Try it!
3. Take a break from what stresses you out, and take a walk. By doing so, you can give your mind a break and keep yourself from thinking about negative things. Instead, look around you, relax, take in deep breaths, and just think positive events that happened in your life. The more you think about the positive things in life, the more you become a half-full person.
4. Listen to music you like. When you listen to the music that makes you feel good, you feel good.
5. Volunteer, or help someone out. When you help someone or do something nice to another person, you feel happy as well. It gives you the satisfaction that you had made someone’s day and in turn, you make yourself happy too!
6. Get enough sleep. I didn’t realized this sooner, but when you have enough rest, you don’t feel tired and cranky, you feel simply happy. The sun shines a little bit brighter, the coffee tastes a little better, and the drive to work is a little shorter. Plus, you will be healthier with enough rest because your body has enough time to repair damaged tissues, and recharge you for a new day.
7. Hang out with people that are positive as well. We humans tend to have empathy toward each other, so when we see a person being happy and positive, we feed off that energy and be happy as well. (And the same works in the other direction as well.)
8. Surround yourself with the things you like. If your work office has boring office supplies and a boring monitor, why not decorate it with pictures and other little reminders that bring a smile to your face?
9. Resist the urge to say negative things. When you convert your negative thoughts to positive thoughts, you are proactively replacing your clouded glasses with a fresh pair of glasses, a new perspective. Soon, you will believe that you are positive, and these positive thoughts change your opinion about anything that seems terrible before. Maybe that 24 hour flight to grandma’s house isn’t so bad, or a rainy day is perfect to stay at home and drink some hot chocolate or tea.
10. Rinse and repeat. When you do these few things, not only will you make yourself happy, you will infect other people that surrounds you with the “happy” bug too. 😀 And why share the unhappy feelings, when you can be happy? Being happy will make you less stressed and you’ll live longer. Now that’s something to be happy about! 😉
This song certainly makes me happy. What makes YOU happy?